The Witwatersrand College for Advanced Technical Education chose a rugby team to play in the inter-college festival down in Durban-by-the-Sea and they didn’t choose me so I had to choose myself and find my own way down so as to be able to add to the fun and laughter and educational and character-building value of such gatherings. And the imbibing contest, which was actually my forté but – for some reason – they didn’t have a drinking span. Strange.
So we had to compete informally, yet enthusiastically. I spose because there were no officials officiating our match we lost sight of the time and forgot to arrange accommodation n stuff so when it became very late we looked around and found we were in someone else’s hotel – the salubrious Killarney – and were trying to scrounge floor space to kip on.
Schoeman and Fotherby were 100% legal and official and had a room and we made merry in it, perhaps too much because someone marched in and very rudely demanded we shurrup and also leave. I stepped forward to help this rude gentleman right upon which he – a man of few words – explained the situation to me by unleashing a mighty klap on my left eardrum, shattering the peace. I immediately understood what he was on about and agreed to leave the premises forthwith.
All the way down the stairs his lips were moving but I couldn’t hear a word he said. I was deaf as a post. He was like:
I was like:
The next day my “friends” were singing to me – to the tune of “The Sun Has Got His Hat On” –
“Someone Burst His Eardrum! Hip Hip Hip Hooray!!”
Shits. Luckily I couldn’t hear them.